The Girl Behind the Coat: Becoming My Own Rescue

You won’t find my name here. Just my story.
This isn’t Grey’s Anatomy. There’s no dramatic background music. Just caffeine, imposter syndrome, and anatomy flashcards that sometimes double as tissues.

I don’t wear a white coat yet — but I’ve cried over one, fallen asleep on one, and dreamt of earning it.

But this blog isn’t just about med school. It’s about what happens inside, when the textbooks close and silence sets in.

After summer break, everything always feels different. People change. Support systems dissolve. And you’re left reintroducing yourself to a life that never waited for you.

I walked into college again, feeling lonelier than ever. Everyone seemed to have someone — parents who understood, mentors to lean on, friends who checked in. I didn’t. I never really did.

At some point, I told myself:
“You don’t get to fail.”
I don’t even know where I learned that — maybe from the way people looked at me like I had something to prove.

But I failed anyway.

Not in marks, but in momentum. In mindset. In peace.

There was no one to catch me, so I became my own parachute. I stopped waiting for a guiding adult. I became one for myself.

It wasn’t graceful. It still isn’t. But here I am — still showing up.

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If no one’s coming to guide you, you can still move forward.

Even when you’re surrounded by silence, you can still speak to yourself with kindness.
Even without a support system, you can become your own soft landing.

You are not weak for wanting help.
You are not broken because you had to figure it out alone.
And most importantly — you’re allowed to try again.